On Being Wrong

A really interesting point that Kathryn Schulz made was the idea that we understand being wrong in the abstract, but can't apply that concept to the present. It's true, when I think back on things that have happened to me personally, I can say yes I've been wrong before...but I'm not wrong now. That i such a powerful concept. The thing is, the power in being able to admit we are wrong doesn't come from admitting that we have the propensity to be wrong in some hypothetical situation, but by possessing the ability to admit we are wrong in the present, the here and now, because the present is what we live in and where we are when we make things happen. Shulz points out two reasons for our inability to admit our wrongness:


1. We have to admit to being wrong, because it feels awful. It's embarrassing. At least on the first thought. But in reality this happens when we REALIZE we are wrong. But just being wrong, doesn't feel like anything. When we are wrong about something, we are like the Coyote from the Roadrunner cartoons. We are already wrong, but we don't realize it.


2. We learn, culturally, that people who get things wrong are lazy and irresponsible. The only way to succeed in life, is to never be wrong. And we deal with it by becoming perfectionists and overachievers. According to culture, getting something wrong means there's something wrong with us. Trusting too much on the feeling of being on the correct side of anything is dangerous. This feeling is not a good gauge!

The amazing thing is about both of these points, is we have the ability to change them. We can choose to feel stupid, idiotic, and embarrassed about being wrong and therefore avoid the admission, or we can take our attitudes about wrongness and change it from mortification to a realization that this is an opportunity for growth and change.


When we think we are right, we have a feeling that our ideas accurately reflect reality. We explain away those who disagree with us by assuming they are first ignorant, second idiotic, third they know the truth and are deliberately distorting for their own malevolent purposes. The issue, is that it misses the whole point of being human. The miracle of your mind isn't that you can see the world as it is, it's that you can see the world as it isn't. We can remember the past, and think about the future all a little differently. This is also why we get things wrong. And that's what makes life interesting. We love plot twists, and red herrings in fictional stories because it's true to REAL life.

In our work as a council, and as leaders, the ability to admit we are wrong is crucial. The entire reason we have governing bodies and leaders and reform, is because things we have set into place need to be monitored and revised, because sometimes the system that seemed like such a good idea is in fact wrong for the needs of the time and place. Being wrong is scary, but that is something that we need to learn to change in our own mindsets. It's only by being wrong, that we can learn to move forward and find something that works and is right. At the same time, we need to keep in mind that what we consider to be wrong, is not necessarily "wrong". I could in fact be a different way of seeing something, much like the story of the three blind men describing an elephant. Solid and circular, or thin and snakelike? Well, both. The answer all depends on how you look at it.